I Am So Glad That I Zagged

Why did I zag when life clearly zigged?  Was it when I made the choice to become a mother at almost 18?  Was it deciding to get married the day after high school graduation and my 18^th birthday?  Was it getting divorced at 21 with two toddlers?  Was it beginning college without any discernable direction?  Was it having a third child and choosing not to raise him?  Was it getting married and divorced…again?  Was it moving to a place where I knew hardly anyone?  Was it finding my calling, but not being able to fulfill the work?  Was it losing everything and being required to start from scratch?

-OR- 

Was it when I started finding myself and truly enjoying the ride?  Was it finding amazing people over the last (almost) 38 years in which to share my life story?  Was it following my heart to try something different?  Was it finding my passion and finding the courage to follow it and make something happen?  Was it learning to be humble and accept help from friends and family?  Was it learning to love others on a whole new level?  Was it when I learned that I CAN stand up for what I know to be right and try to change those things that are flawed?  Or finally, was it when I began to truly find myself in my quiet alone times realizing that I am a woman of incredible power, strength and intellect?

Whenever the proverbial zig and zag happened, I am eternally grateful that I have followed my heart.  Life has not exactly turned out the way that it was supposed to – or at least not the way I had planned, but I am beginning to understand that I am exactly where the universe needs me.  I am not entirely sure that I understand what my roll is or how I have survived this long without a concrete direction, map, compass and survival gear, but I have and who am I to question the blessings in my life?  What I do understand is that even though I have purpose, I am lost in my journey to find it. 

I have not had the luxury that Hansel and Gretel had with breadcrumbs leading to the cottage (although that did not turn out too well for them), nor have I received a revelation like Bugs Bunny when he realizes that he should have taken a left at Albuquerque.  I feel as though I have wandered aimlessly ever since I left the safety of my childhood home, searching for…me.

Here is what I have discovered:

•     Two college degrees do not mean a thing when you are searching for a job.
•     Teenagers are the most difficult people I have ever had to deal with.
•     Even in 2012 people can be ignorant and cruel about issues that have nothing to do with them.
•     Compassion is learned, not innate.
•     True friends are hard to come by, but absolutely worth fighting for and holding on to.
•     Even when you are an adult, you still need your mommy.
•     Dads are still very important to your daily life.
•     My children, even grown and holders of all knowledge; still need their mommy.
•     Life is not complete without a dog to share it with.
•     Love comes in multiple and unique forms.
•     People are beautiful in their diversity.
•     Life apparently is not supposed to be simple.
•     We all have a soundtrack to our lives.
•     Fresh cut grass has the best aroma.
•     Coffee is the nectar from the gods. (Water is a close second.)
•     We should celebrate each and every day and not wait for those special occasions.
•     Fine china should be used to eat hamburgers and macaroni and cheese.
•     Milk is gross.
•     Tattoos are beautiful, even if they hurt like Hell.
•     Everyone deserves a best friend. 
•     Everyone deserves someone who believes in him or her.
•     Good music should fill your home.
•     Families come in all shapes and sizes…and not all are ‘traditional.’
•     Family can be defined as the following

o   A group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head

o   A group of persons of common ancestry

o   A group of people united by certain convictions or common affiliation

•     Tradition is not for everyone.
•     My love for my children increases exponentially on a daily basis.
•     I am grateful for my parents.

I have discovered so much more. 

My point of this laundry list of life lessons and discoveries is to say that I am grateful that I zagged when life zigged.  I can imagine where I would be had different decisions been made, but I am perfectly happy where I am and where my life is going.  The universe has taken care of me to this point and I must trust that the direction I am moving, is the right one.