Cutting the Ties of Virtual Friendships
What is it that
makes a true friend? Is it quick updates
and pictures on a public website? Or is
it face-to-face contact, ‘real’ conversation or actually knowing the intimate
details of a person’s life? In order to
discover the answer to these questions I have decided to cut my ties with
Facebook, Google+ and Twitter. My end
goal is to take the time to reconnect with my ‘true’ friends. I suppose I should share my definition of a
true friend. My criterion: would I hug
the person on the street, ask them to join me for coffee, would be able to call the person for help and know that they would be there for me…and would I do the same for them, or trust them with my
dog? If the is answer is yes to all four of these questions then we are definitely on the right track.
What I find
interesting is the people who shared their non-Facebook contact information
with me. Not the individuals I expected to reach out. What has really struck home is realizing that those who I truly consider my friends, I had only Facebook as a means of communication, and because I have deactivated my account, I have no other way to contact them; which will make cultivating relationships and reconnecting with those on my list a bit more difficult, but then this is the whole purpose of this experiment. The question then becomes, what will I do to reach out to those who didn't share their information.
The first day of my experiment, I had the fortunate opportunity to have an ACTUAL phone conversation with a friend of mine. It was AWESOME!!! The conversation lasted only 18 minutes, but we were able to connect, share and feel the care that we have for each other. It felt so good to make this connection, hear her voice, laugh, share and say "I love ya!" to one another. You don't get this experience anywhere else except through personal contact. Additionally, I am having lunch with an old friend from high school, her mom and her kids (whom I have never met) and though this meeting may have happened through planning through Facebook, I am certain that this will be the first of many reconnects with some of the most amazing people in my life.
I don't expect every day to be full of meaningful contacts and conversations, in fact I believe that I would be crazy to feel that this was even possible, but I hope that each day I find comfort in knowing that the relationships that I am building (or rebuilding) will become life long connections. Although it's only day four, I feel a freedom from NOT Facebooking, and with-drawl has not been an issue. One thing that I have come to realize is the time that I have wasted 'goofing around' on this social site, sharing my personal life, hoping that someone actually gives a shit about my daily activities and knowing that within minutes of posting a picture, people have moved on to the next comment, picture or political blurb.
I know I have value, but I realize that I don't need to post my life in order to prove it to the world. Putting my life out there on the internet, as fun as may be, is not how I want people to 'know' me. The only way that we can truly know one-another is to actually connect, talk, interact and share our experiences.
Here's to creating a new reality...
Cheers!
The first day of my experiment, I had the fortunate opportunity to have an ACTUAL phone conversation with a friend of mine. It was AWESOME!!! The conversation lasted only 18 minutes, but we were able to connect, share and feel the care that we have for each other. It felt so good to make this connection, hear her voice, laugh, share and say "I love ya!" to one another. You don't get this experience anywhere else except through personal contact. Additionally, I am having lunch with an old friend from high school, her mom and her kids (whom I have never met) and though this meeting may have happened through planning through Facebook, I am certain that this will be the first of many reconnects with some of the most amazing people in my life.
I don't expect every day to be full of meaningful contacts and conversations, in fact I believe that I would be crazy to feel that this was even possible, but I hope that each day I find comfort in knowing that the relationships that I am building (or rebuilding) will become life long connections. Although it's only day four, I feel a freedom from NOT Facebooking, and with-drawl has not been an issue. One thing that I have come to realize is the time that I have wasted 'goofing around' on this social site, sharing my personal life, hoping that someone actually gives a shit about my daily activities and knowing that within minutes of posting a picture, people have moved on to the next comment, picture or political blurb.
I know I have value, but I realize that I don't need to post my life in order to prove it to the world. Putting my life out there on the internet, as fun as may be, is not how I want people to 'know' me. The only way that we can truly know one-another is to actually connect, talk, interact and share our experiences.
Here's to creating a new reality...
Cheers!
Tasha,
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration. And thank you for sharing this process! I for one am very interested in hearing about your reflections on going social media free! I think I mentioned to you I would love to try this out when the walk is done! I, like so many of us, feel like I've forgotten how to genuinely connect with people!
Thank you! At this point, I can't see going back as an option...although I am sure that I will. My ultimate goal, however, I probably will, but my friends list will only contain those with whom I have stain in contact with over the last month. There is no reason for me to keep people on my list who really don't take an active interest in my life. Selfish? Perhaps, but the point of all of this is build and keep relationships goings,not share details of my life with people who don't really know me. You will definitely be up on how things are going.
ReplyDeleteI am really going to take this chance to also work on writing, actually finishing a couple of the 8 books that I have started, spending more time with friends, and focusing on me...since becoming a recent empty nester.
I will keep up with your blog as well. I love reading your experiences. Alan, you too are an inspiration to me.