Taking the Time to Look Around


Have you ever just looked at your familiar surroundings and realized that they aren’t so familiar? 

Me either. 

I have, however, looked around and found something beautiful and meaningful, something that I never noticed and realized that I need to pay more attention to what I have in my life.  There are many who have enhanced my life, brought me joy, helped me raise my children, involved themselves in my life, and so much more.  I am grateful for so much…I can’t possibly begin to name it all, but I can continue to actually see what is around me and express my gratitude genuinely, and regularly.  I think that a great deal of the chaos in my life has come from not recognizing what I have around me; by not seeing the beauty of life itself has not made it possible for me to experience a quiet life.  A brief sampling of what I have found in my life that I am truly grateful for, and have rediscovered the beauty I have surrounding me on a daily basis follows: 

1.     Craig.  He’s one of my most cherished friends.  Not only is he my friend, he is one of two of the most respected men in my life.  We met over a year ago, and I never thought that we would have such a great friendship.  It’s true what is said about people coming into our lives when we need them the most.  Who I thought would be an unlikely friend, has become one of the most important people in my life.  Craig has stood by me through very difficult times and I don’t know where I would be without his friendship and love.  We spend a great deal laughing, crying and talking about topics from what’s for dinner to the future loss of our parents; each time we share our feelings, we strengthen an already solid friendship.
  

2.     Scott and Andrew.  How can I not be grateful for the most precious gifts that I have ever been given?  For twenty years, I have had the honor and responsibility of raising the only people I have ever know with whom I would give my life for and sacrifice everything to see that they are safe, healthy and happy.  I never thought it was possible to love someone so much that when they hurt, it actually breaks my heart; when they are happy my heart overflows with joy; or when they are scared, I will protect them with every means possible.  I have made sacrifices far beyond what I ever imagined possible, and though I now realize the magnitude of what I have given up to be the best mom I could possibly be…I know that I would ABSOLUTELY do it all over again.  Don’t get me wrong; I would also do things a lot differently (in some respects) but others exactly the same.  I have to believe that my boys, although choosing to enter the big scary world much earlier than I have hoped, are ready to face the challenges that await them.  Because of the way that we have lived for the last twenty years, they understand that not everything will be sunshine and great times.  I have to believe, that no matter how much they may not like me right now, they know that I love them with everything that I am and will ALWAYS be here for them.  


3.     Otis & Toby.  They may be silly pooches, but they bring me a lot of joy.  To walk into the house after a long day of work, or an evening of fun is so comforting.  They love me unconditionally; it’s so very easy to love them just as much!  I grew up with dogs, and have for a brief moment of my life, lived without them (not by choice) and something significant was missing from my life.  Thankfully, I was able to correct this problem and bring pooches back into our family.  I have raised Otis from puppyhood, something that I have never done before.  I have always adopted older dogs and starting from scratch has been amazing!  I adopted him when he was eight weeks old from the Humane Society, and it was one of the best decisions that I have ever made.  Although it’s difficult to find a place to live that will allow a 100 pound dog, there is no negotiation when it comes to this guy…he’s one of my babies.  He’s a goofball, sometimes not realizing that he is NOT a small lap dog, but he gives love without judgment or apprehension…unless of course you are a stranger (which generally lasts for only moments, and then you are invited into our ‘pack.’)  Toby is Craig’s baby.  What a sweet dog, who loves Craig so much, that when Craig goes into the garage to grab something from the car, Toby will wait by the door whining until Craig comes back into the house.  The bond that these two share is unique, to say the least, and this uniqueness has not only changed the lives of both man and beast, but increased their happiness and understanding of love and compassion.  I am additionally grateful for the bond that Otis and Toby share.  Although the beginning of their ‘relationship’ was rocky, they have become best buddies.  Every dog deserves a friend…who isn’t human.  


4.     Mom and Dad.  Although I don’t see them as often as I like or talk to them every day, they have a profound influence on my life.  They are living their lives, loving their spouses, and enjoying their retirement; this brings great joy to my heart.  I was reading the Sunday comics and while reading, I was laughing out loud…thinking of my dad and how we love silly jokes, puns, and seriously, just laughing.  (I will mention, that while reading the comics and laughing, Craig laughs at me!)  Mom always offers me the comfort and giggles that I need.  Although she travels A LOT, she is never too far away to just be my mom.  My parents have never left my side; though they expect me to clean up my own messes, they are never too far behind to help pick me up, dust me off and send me on my way.


5.     Danika.  My sister, and only sibling, is my best girlfriend.  We may fight like perfect enemies, but I KNOW, that if I am in trouble, need a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with, my sister is the one I will call.  We have spent a lot of time not talking (I call these the cooling off times) but my sister is one (of a very elect few) who knows the deepest darkest secrets of my life.  I honestly don’t know what I would do without this amazing woman in my life.  We have laughed and loved far more than we have screamed and fought.  We have amazingly happy memories of growing up, with crazy stories and pictures to match, we have the benefit and honor of being raised by the two most amazing parents, and we each come to our friendship with different perspectives and beliefs that offer us each something very meaningful.  I love my sister with all my heart…even though she can push my buttons and drive me completely nuts.
  

6.     Books.  As a kid I don’t remember being a voracious reader, but I found a new love during college.  I found an entirely new way to escape the stress and chaos of the daily grind.  I am not a fan of the made up, but rather subjects that I can gain understanding, knowledge and perspective.  All of this aside, I always experienced difficulty reading, more of comprehending what I was reading.  It wasn’t until the beginning part of my college career when I learned that I have a form of dyslexia that instead of reading things backwards, or out of order, I have trouble reading under florescent light, and can typically focus better using green or yellow highlighters to remember the important points of passage.  Once I learned, or ‘re-learned’ how read, I discovered that there is an entirely new world out there to be experienced.  I have recently tried to add fiction to my library, and as difficult as it may be to muddle through, I have found some authors I truly enjoy, however, non-fiction will always be my true literary love.


7.     Friends. Where would I be without my friends?  Those who are still present in my life, and those who are currently a part of my life, all mean a great deal to me and have brought me fantastic amounts of joy, love and perspective to help me become who I am and who I am striving to become.  I have made it to this point in my life because of the amazing people who have shared experiences with me, made me laugh, cry and scream.